STEVEN'S RANDOM THOUGHTS OF THE MONTH

It's been a while my friends but it's time for more of Steven's thoughts! Most of these thoughts or questions have come up in conversation of the past few weeks so I'm just getting them out there. Maybe you've got some answers or rebuttles!

1- What is the point of a hard hat? I know there are things you could hit your head on, but is the hat really gonna help that much if you fall off the top of a 10 story building while working. What happens if some dude drops a brick or beam from 10 stories high and you happen to be standing underneath it? I can't see many people thinking... "Boy I'm glad I had that hard hat on or that 1,000 pound beam might have really hurt."

2- Every time I get on a plane and they explain that my seat cushion can be used as a floatation device I just have to laugh. If my plane goes down in the middle of the Pacific Ocean I doubt I'm going to have much use for the cushion! I'm going to be blown to peices. And IF I survived the crash the last think I want is a little floatie seat that will help me sit in 60 degree water until I get hypothermia! I'd rather drown.

3- I don't understand these food places that have employees wear plastic gloves while they work. These people are pushing the nasty buttons on their cash register, and the gloves are filthy! I'd rather have them make my food with their feet than wear those nasty gloves all day while they wipe up the spilled ketsup on the floors, and wipe the gloves on their dirty pants. Subway changes gloves after every sandwich so I get that... but some of these other places just don't use the gloves effectively.

4- If a product is on an infomercial it's a crock! It's garbage! You should just tear your money in half and avoid the frustration of paying for something that isn't going to work! And what's up with the overly-excited people they have on those things. Makes me feel uncomfortable just watching them.

5- Whoever invented a neck tie should be punched right in the mouth! They get in the way, they strangle my throat, and mine are usually covered in pen ink because they get in the way. I can't even take a duke without having to throw the long part of the tie over my back. Bow ties!!! That's where it's at. We should all be walking around with Bow ties!

6- Who came up with the idea that Aliens were green monsters with a disproportioned head and one big eye? Or some hideous creature with tenticles? I picture aliens as a moose, tiger or a puppy! That way they could be among us and we'd never know it! They could take over the world before we knew what hit us.

7- Tofu is nothing more than a sponge straight from the ocean floor! Worst "food" I've ever tasted.

8- What is the point of fake plants. They don't look real at all, but I get the impression that's what they're trying to lead us to beleive. Boo to fake plants!

9- Jack Johnson sucks! This guy could put a room full of ADHD kids to sleep.

10- Testicles are funny. And all the code names for testicles are even more funny.
Testicles, balls, nards, gems, boys, baby maker, sack, testies, mommy-daddy, acorns, ballsack, yambags! We could go on but you get the point! Call me juvenile all you want but I'd bet you cracked a smile while reading those.